There once was a man from Nantucket. His name was Cernig. He enjoyed many a-glorious things to day, and lived lavishly in the limelight. Daily rituals Cernig had included smoking pot, making Peanut butter and no jelly sandwichs that he ate on the floor of his living room because his parents would freak out on his ass if they knew he was eating on the sofa. acting like Mickey Rooney, wishing he had a dog, and off course, the cockfights. Cernig had the best cock to fight with. It was small, but subtle. Smelly, but wholesome. Curved, and bent. But one day Cernig said, "That's it! My cock is going to own all cocks in a a no-holds barred cage match!" Someone from down the street was heard cheering in response, "Shut the fuck up! It's 3 in the God damn morning, besides, your cock doesn't have the heart to slay beasts like mine. My cock has twice the number of dirty diseases shove down the throats of the competition! It's the greatest cock of all! But fuckin'...Cernig's sister. Anyways let's fucking duel our cocks and midnight tommorow and we will see whose cock can truely be called the Dragonmaster! Muahahah!" Cernig, hearing this grew weary and his eyes shed little drips of Yoohoo chocolate drink. He was about to become mincemeat.
The next day arrived and at ll:45 Cernig went to the corner of his street, cock in hand, ready for a battle of epic porportions. Little did that guy from the last paragraph who was yelling at Cernig, noone ever found out his name, maybe it was Norm. Probably not though, 'cause not alot of people name their kids Norm anymore. Kinda a dead name right? Like first off, it rhymes with Swarm, like a wasps' hive and shit. Why the fuck would anyone name their kid Norm, it's fucking stupid. Anyways that dude was cocky going into the cockfight, but he's gonna come out cockless after. Cernig's cock was delivering blow after blow to the other dude's cock, battering and bruising it unto it finally choked up and puked all over Cernig's cock. Cernig's cock then went on to penetrate the other dude's cock until it bled to death. The moment the fight was over Cernig grabbed his cock in joy, and shook it in victory. "My cock dominates all opposing cocks!" Cernig took his cock home, where he fed it prime rib and cauliflower in celebration. Then he put his prize winning chicken to sleep, pulled out his penis and masterbated.
Revision: I realize now that most of you probably got confused and thought Cernig was fighting with his weiner. No, it was his chicken that he bought at the farmer's market one afternoon.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
that was the best story i have ever readed
Post a Comment